First let me say that my second session of chemo was a lot better than the first. On the day after my second session, I woke up, got into the shower and when I ran the my hands through my hair I pulled out a full handful of hair. You know that it is going to happen and you think that you are emotionally ready for it... But you know what? You aren't.
Friday night I had Chris use his electric shaver and shaved my head. Everyone got into the excitement, even my three year old help make mommy "bode" (bald). Then she wanted Daddy to shave her head too! But I said no to that, her hair is just too pretty. Even I got into the action, I wanted to do the top myself and pull a "Britney Spears". I still felt cute, that is until I would look into the mirror. Then I just felt like I looked like Robert Irvine from "Dinner Impossible" on the Food Network.
I wore it like that for two days but there was little hairs falling out everywhere, it constantly felt like you had just gotten a haircut so by Tuesday I put my head under the bath facet and rubbed my head until the hair stopped falling out and when I looked in the mirror I probably had only 100 hairs left. It looked so sad... Like I had cancer....
On Wednesday night, I had Chris shave my hair the rest of the way down to bald. Just when you think it is bad, it just gets worse. So now I look like a cue ball.
I think the hardest thing about having cancer has been loosing my hair. I still can't talk about it without crying. My husband still loves me and thinks I'm beautiful. My baby giggles when she sees my bald head, my thirteen year old doesn't say much, and my 3 year old loves to have me take off my hat and kiss my "bode" head.
I think the hardest thing about having cancer has been loosing my hair. I still can't talk about it without crying. My husband still loves me and thinks I'm beautiful. My baby giggles when she sees my bald head, my thirteen year old doesn't say much, and my 3 year old loves to have me take off my hat and kiss my "bode" head.
Your hair is like a good friend. Sure, it might not always work for you, or have the same opinions as you (bad hair day), but it is yours, it is a part of you good days and bad. And just like a good friend you don't realize how much you miss it until it is gone... So right now, do me a favor, no matter how long or short your hair is toss it around for, run your fingers through it for me and tell it you are glad it is there! Come on.. Do it for me!
LJ... I've bawled when the hairdresser accidentally snipped off a couple inches too much. I cried when I THOUGHT I wanted to cut it short but quickly realized how wrong I was. I get it. But then again, I can't completely say that I get it because I've never lost complete control over my hair and had it disappear completely. If you wanted mine -- I would cut it off in a minute for you. Just let me know.
ReplyDeletexoxox
I happen to be having a "bad hair day" when I read your blog and now...my hair thanks you!!! you are sooo right and it's a real treat to have those little things pointed out to you when you don't know firsthand what it's like without them.
ReplyDeleteFORZA bella! I love you!
I do believe it was you, my friend, who told all of us in the beginning to remeber that Bald is Beautiful !!!! Never forget just how beautiful you are both inside and out to all of those around you !!!! You have demonstrated more strength than I belive so many of us could, and that alone makes your beauty radiate from within !!! I am in line right behind Connor to cut off my hair for you (It's been short for so long - I'll do bald for you !!!)
ReplyDelete