Telling the Kids

Jan. 22, 2009

My husband and I had discussed waiting to tell the kids until we had a plan of attack. I didn't want to just put out there that I had cancer and not tell them how we were going fix it. So Thursday night after dinner (and desert) we sat down with all of our kids (the 13 yr old, the 3 yr old and my 13month old) and had a family meeting.

My 3 yr old turned to me before I started talking and asked me how my day was.
"Mommy how was your day?"
"My day was VERY long."
"Anything neat, new or 'terestin?"

Side note: We have 3 questions that are asked at every dinner:
1) How was your day?
2) Anything neat, new or interesting?
3) What did you learn today?
My 3 year old loves to ask me these questions.

"Well actually, yes."
"What Mommy?"
"Well remember when Mommy's boobie hurt? Well they did a test on it and they found out that Mommy's boobie is sick." Then I looked at my 13 year old, "It's cancer."
Her mouth dropped and eyes got big, "Cancer?"
"Yeah."
Just then my 3 year old who was walking around the kitchen (not sitting in her chair like I asked) walked into the chair and hit her nose. She started crying. I pulled her too me and sat her on my lap so I could see if her nose was hurt, it wasn't so I hugged her. Then my 13 month old got mad cause her sister was in my lap so she started wailing too.

Needless to say, it broke the ice.

When I was finally able to let my 3 year old go, I stood up with the baby and continued, "I am have two spots on my breast that are cancer. Wednesday, the Doctor is going to go in and take them out. After that I will have some chemo and/or radiation, then I'll be okay."
"So it is breast cancer?" the 13 year old asked.
"Yes."
"Will you loose your hair, my friends mom had breast cancer and lost her hair."
"I don't know, I hope not."
"But you will be okay?" She asked.
"Yes, I will. I will probably need some more help around the house and with the kids, the radiation can make me really tired."
"Okay."
And that was it...

The next morning, my 3 year old asked me if my boobie was still sick.
"Yes it is."
"How does it get better?"
"They are going to take out the sick part." I explained sitting on the floor with her trying to put on her shoes.
"Is it going to hurt?" She tilted her head to the right.
"Yeah, a little"
"I don't want you to hurt Mommy."
"Remember when you had your tonsils out, it hurt for a little bit, but then you were okay?"
"Yeah."
"It is kind of like that." I gave her a kiss.
"Mommy, I love you sooo hard!"
"I love you so hard too!"