Year 2 for Team LJ!!!

Please join Team LJ (on our 2nd year) and
Susan G. Komen for the Cure
As we Race For a Cure on
Sunday October 03, 2010
Hunt Valley, Maryland
Let's get started!!!

Sign up!! Register online at http://www.komenmd.org/ under our team name today! Your friends, family members and neighbors are invited to be part of the "Team LJ" team too. Please ask them to go online and register and be sure they choose Team LJ under "team name".
Fundraise!! Tell your family, friends and neighbors about the Komen Maryland Race for the Cure and ask them to help by making a contribution to your personal fundraising page online. Or, they can write a check or money order to Komen Maryland. Strive to ask 10 friends for $10 to help us reach our team goal of $2,500.00 in the fight against breast cancer. Every dollar makes a difference.

Race/Walk! Have a great time at the Race with Team LJ and enjoy a day filled with hope, love, encouragement, entertainment, fun and a LOT of pink!! It will be fun for racers and walkers of all ages.

Feel Proud! After the walk, fell the pride and satisfaction that comes form knowing you were part of the largest world-wide effort to help find a cure for breast cancer.

Contact Team LJ today for more information!!

REMEMBER - Sunday, October 03, 2010

YOUR REGISTRATION FEE GET US TO THE START LINE. YOUR DONATIONS GET US TO THE CURE!

One Year Ago Today...

One year ago today, I didn't know how long I would have with my children. One year ago today, I was exhausted. One year ago today, my skin was burnt and bloody that I thought scarring was immanent. One year ago today, I had my last radiation treatment. It feels like it was just yesterday, but at the same time it also feels like years ago. It was a very hard ride last year and I just wanted to say thank you.

So many of you helped me through my fight (if you knew it or not), whether it be through love, support, comments, commiseration, humor, a smile, or just a plain reality check.

Today I am cancer free. Today I feel better than I have in at least 10 years. Today, I am a survivor, a warrior. But I could not have done it without the support of all of you. So from the bottom of my heart...

Thank you,

LJ

Who Would Have Thought??

In May back in 1999, I walked in the Relay For Life, the 24 hour cancer walk.



My walking time was sometime in the wee hours of the night (or the morning, which ever you prefer). I have the image etched in my brain of walking around the Lompoc High School track with my friend Tracie looking at the luminaries along the track. These luminaries were the only things lighting the track, all the lights had been turned off. On each luminary was the name of someone who lost their life to cancer or a survivor. I will never forget walking along that track trying to read each name... Bag after bag, "In Memory of....", "In Honor of...", "In Memory of..." and so on. As each bag lit my way, I wanted to read each name. Be it a morbid curiosity or the thought I couldn't believe the strength it must have taken every survivor, every person that lost their life to fight everyday. Maybe just reading their names, if only to myself, would honor those warriors. It was an emotional night for me and I didn't even know any of the names. That was the first and last Relay for Life I did, yet I remember that night as if it was yesterday. Funny how some memories are gone forever and some you never forget.

One of my baby mommas, Shannon, does the walk up in Massachusetts every year. She is doing it this weekend. She sent me a text last night....

That is the my luminary her children made for me....

Who would have thought huh? That someone would be walking the track in the wee hours of the morning, reading the names on the bags... And read my name. Thank you Shannon for thinking of me and thank you to Christian, Maddy and Nathaniel for helping your Mommy color it. It meant so much to me that you honor me with all those other fighters whose bags are lit to light your way as you walk. I love you all.

One year ago on June 4th, I had my last chemo treatment...


Wow...


This past year has just been a blur... From chemo to radiation, radiation to healing, heeling to a total hysterectomy, a total hysterectomy to healing....


Somewhere along the line, I got better. I got healthy.

I guess I am just at a loss for words. This is a journey I wish no other woman to go through. This is a club, I don't want anyone else to join. But every day more woman join the ranks... More mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, nieces, friends join the breast cancer club. But in this journey I found strength in my family, in my friends, in perfect strangers. From my absolutely loving husband to the woman I met at the PT office that took time to tell me where I could find a good wig... If I could light a luminary with everyone of your names, I would. Then I would walk on the lit up track in the wee hours of the night and say your name to honor you.

I truly love you all.

BoobieGate Update

April 11, 2010

I know... What a bad blogger I am! I don’t think that I have put in my post-op appointment with Dr. B. So… Here is it is.

I had been doing really good, healing really well. My work gave the option to work from home, so I started coding from home the day after I got back from the hospital. It was nice to keep my mind on something else, and to feel at least useful during my healing. I thought I was doing REALLY good, considering that I had no menopausal symptoms for the first week and a half. But then I guess that I had used up all my estrogen in reserve, because about a week and a half after surgery, I started to have hot flashes, emotional breakdowns, horrible vivid nightmares, and I mustn’t forget the insomnia. I stopped taking my naps during the day, just so I would be tired enough to go to sleep at night. The good news was that I had to come off my Tamoxofin for 5 days after the surgery, it can cause blood clots, and during the 5 days I was off it, my hives went away!! I didn’t realize it until I noticed that I had forgotten to take my Xyzal (anti-histamine) for about a week, and there were no more hives!!

Two weeks after my surgery, I went back to Dr. B office for my first post-op. I hadn’t heard anything about my test results yet, which I was HOPING meant that there was good news (no news is good news right?) So my mom and dad (who were still here) drove me down to Bethesda and my mom and I went back with Dr. B. Dad stayed up front in the waiting room. Dr. B checked me out inside and out, and said that I was “healing beautifully” I got to see the pictures of the surgery and the size of my cyst (warning, I am posting for you curious lookers, please avert your eyes for the squeamish).


She said that everything looked great, that everything was normal it was just a large mass with maroon-ish blood in it. Since they took the ovaries, tubes and uterus, they would not be going in to take out anything else. My mom at that point started crying…. Relief!
We left there soon after and had Chipotle!

Mom and Dad stayed through the weekend and left the next Monday, and I cannot thank them enough for helping me with the children, taking care of me, driving me around and of course feeding my Starbucks kick!!

I went back to work 4 weeks after surgery (April 7th) and went to dance the day after that. Yes, I was careful, but I am so over being sick!! I am tired of “not being able to do anything”, of having limitations. I wish I could have one day (just one) that I don’t remember I had cancer. I have to wear special “gear” to bed, so my breast doesn’t swell. I still have a rash on my left breast that will not go away; I have the scar that I have to massage so it doesn’t collect more fluid. I have to take a medication in the morning and one at night. Because of all these things, it is impossible for me to forget, or to just not remember for a single day that I had cancer. I feel sometimes that it is a heavy wind, whipping around me trying to blow me over and keep me down.

So yes I went to dance! Probably too early, but it is the only place that pointing my foot, making sure I am turned out, and making sure that I am not putting weight on my heel, squashes the cancer thoughts. It is the one place where I am Laurie Jo of old. The dance studio is the one place where I feel healthy and strong.

Okay, enough of that rant… I have decided to make an appointment with Dr. K (my original Oncologist). She is now in Washington DC, which means I have to take the Metro down to see her, but I am told it is a nice ride and I get to relax and read on the train (which I am excited about, I have a Harry Potter book to finish). I will see her on Wednesday and at that time we will discuss everything that has gone on with in the couple of months I haven’t seen her, and we will discuss what changes we are going to make with my med. I think she will take me off the Tamoxifen and give me a post menopausal drug, and I believe my hives are slowly making there way back, so I am pretty confident that I was/am allergic to the Tamoxifen. I might even get another anti-depressant to help with the hot flashes. I just want to sleep again!!

Down.. But Not Out

Hey everyone.

I might be down for a few weeks, but everyday I feel a little better.

I am working from home for the next four weeks and taking care of myself. I am doing well, but get tired easily, and sitting upright does hurt after a while. So I am trying to take naps when I am done with work. I haven't had any hot flashes or menopause symptoms yet. I am so excited about that, but just waiting for them to come. I started taking my Tamoxifen again last night. I hope it doesn't make it start. Maybe my body feels better with no estrogen! Hahahaha.

I still cannot lift for 6 weeks and it is really hard on my girls (especially Natalie who wants me to hold her all the time). But it is getting better.

So far no news from Dr. B on my test results, I think she might wait until my first post-op appointment next week. But I guess no news is good news in this case.

My love to everyone!!

It's B-9!!

I am now sitting in my hospital room in the recliner. I am still in a little pain but hoping that it will subside soon. Yesterday went really well, so I will tell you what I remember....

Chris and I got to the hospital about 6:30 am for my 7am check in. Everyone was really nice and I was brought back to pre-op rather quickly. I got my gown on and some pretty mesh panties (sarcasm) cause of course the day before my uterus is removed, it decided to start my period. I guess it just wanted one more hurrah before it was removed. Anyway, once dressed a nurse came in and got my IV in one try (in my hand) then I met a few nurses that would be helping prep me. Nickie and Joe (Chris' parents) came got to the hospital first, then my parents came after dropping both girls off at daycare. So all 6 of us were there when they came to get me. Only three could follow me back to the pre-pre-op?? So Chris, Nickie and my Mom came with me.

There I met with Dr. B who would be doing the surgery, Beth who was going to be her PA, Jan the nurse (who reminded me of Christina Yang from Grey's Anatomy) and my anesthesiologist. I don't remember her name but she was AWESOME!! She gave me a sedative before getting rolled over to the operating room and I kissed my family good bye. I remember looking into the operating room, but I don't remember going in the room or moving to the OR bed. IT WAS GREAT!!

I woke up hearing that the cyst was benign and everything went very nicely. I don't know if the nurses were talking about me, but I was praying that they were. After about an hour they brought Chris back with my Mom, then my Dad, Nickie and Joe. Chris stuck around until they had brought me to my room (about 4:30pm). The mass was benign and everything did got well.
Even though the mass was benign, Dr. B still took both ovaries, tubes and uterus. Which is what we agreed upon. I was so relieved to hear that it all looked good. Now, all my parts will be sent to a pathology lab and they will test everything they took out. I will find out in about a week the complete results but everything says it looks good.

Once in my room I was able to have more clear fluids (yuck) and had a wonderful nurse, JoAnne. Chris left about 6:15pm so he could put the girls in bed, and then Dani (my BFF) came up to stay with me until about 10pm. I got to chat with my Baby Mommas online for about 30 minutes then I went to sleep.

This morning I got to eat real food!! And Dr. B came in and said that everything went really well, and that I made a good decision on both ovaries cause my right had a mass starting to grow there too!! So a good decision was made by all.

I am getting ready to eat my second solid food meal (lunch), my Mom and Dad are on their way to pick me me up to bring me home.

I am so grateful that everything turned out well. I know I still have a bumpy road coming up (with the flash menopause and no hormones), and 4 weeks of recovery, but today I just feel the relief of being cancer free!!!

Thank you for all your support and prayers.... They worked!!!

My Ovarian Meeting

Hello everyone,

I saw Dr. B today (the Gyno/Onco). She is very nice (and very petite). She first read through my history and then asked me some questions. Then did a pelvic exam (just in case the mass was gone....) No, it was still there. But she did say that it was palpable (movable) and did not seem to be stuck to anything (that is a good sign). Then Chris and I went into her office and we had our "options" discussion....


Okay Here are my notes (well the Dr. notes she wrote for me)

Options.

Conservative Options (this is where they find no cancer in the testing).


These will be attempted as laproscopic.

1. Remove just Left ovary (and mass) and tube. If the frozen sections (of the mass) tested is benign, they stop, close up and I'm done. (outpatient)


2. Remove both ovaries (and mass) and tubes. If the frozen section tested and benign, they stop, close up and I'm done, (outpatient)


3. Remove both ovaries (and mass), tubes, and uterus, if frozen section tests benign and they stop, close up and I'm done. (over night stay)

The recovery for #1 and #2 are about 2-4 weeks, the recovery for #3 is 4 weeks.

If the frozen section comes up malignant or borderline (if it is borderline then there are atypical cells and she will treat it as malignant because of my BC history).All bets are off....

She will have to make a vertical cut into my abdomen (like an emergency C-section) and she will have to remove all the reproductive organs and lympnodes and another organ called an the omentum. It is the fatty tissue that works like an apron on your organs. That is 2-3 nights in the hospital and a 6 week recovery.

Of course if it is cancer, it depends on what kind of cancer, if it is new or secondary on what kind of chemo I will need, no radiation.

She recommends since I am HIGHLY estrogen receptive that I remove both my ovaries at least.

She is hoping that my surgery can happen on March 10, I am waiting on the scheduler now.
This is exactly what I thought it would be. So I had been talking my self into the ovary removal for the past week. She said the hot fashes will be HORRIBLE and she will probably have to put me on something for them (more happy pills).

My meds will change cause I won't need the tamoxifen anymore, I will need the meds for post menopausal women.

Chris and I had pretty much agreed that I had to get both ovaries taken out. It took me a week to come to grips with that decision. Then I was talking on the phone with my mom on the way home one day this week. She said that she doesn't just see why I don't get the uterus taken out as well, and I quote, "Laurie Jo, it is just a bag wafting around in there waiting to get sick. The hard part are your ovaries, since they are coming out, why not the bag..." You got to love the way my mom puts things huh?

So I have been debating getting the uterus taken out...

Pluses...

1. Nothing else to get sick.
2. It is a baby basket for the most part, and with out ovaries there will never be a baby in there anymore.
3. Get it all done at one time and hopefully it will be the last time I'm cut.

Minuses...

1. They are going to have to cut off the cervix and then stitch up the vaginal canal, is it going to be shorter? Will it hurt to have sex?

So far I am leaning towards the uterus too right now, but I got back and forth. I don't have to make a final decision until my pre-op appointment that will be after they schedule the surgery.

So I am going to really push on praying and hoping this thing is normal and not malignant or atypical.