Otrib...

Hi everyone,
This is a very sad blog for me... In July of this year, I had found out that one of my chemo sisters passed away... Her name was Wanda Williams and she was beautiful. To me she was strength, love, compassion and beauty all rolled into the perfect woman... http://http//boobiegate.blogspot.com/2009/08/what-cancer-looks-like.html

What kills me the most is that I received an email from her in April here is what it said...

Hello My Chemo Buddies,
I guess we have been thinking of one another because its been our 1 year anniversary. Well, so far I'm also clean. I have a bilateral mammo tomorrow. I made it through radiation with very little issues. But a week after my 40th birthday (February 13), I came down with SHINGLES.
No one told me it could happen, but my general physician and Dr Hendricks said is was pretty normal for cancer patients.

Now that the neuralgia is disappearing, I can start training for the Avon Walk. My hair has come back, even got my first haircut on Sunday. It is a different texture from what I had before, but I'm loving it. I hope to see you all soon.You all truly made this horrible experience wonderful. I couldn't have made it without you!!!!

Miss you,Wanda

She died in May... I didn't find out until July... JULY!!! How can that be?? I was getting facebook status' from her on people donating to her 3 day walk total??? So I went on her facebook page and found out that site automatically generated status updates when someone donated to her... I was shocked, and beyond belief saddened. I didn't know her well, but she helped get me through the toughest period of my life and I loved her....

I just couldn't help thinking, if I only had read her facebook status, if I would have only known... It pains me even now how fast she was struck w/ a recurrence and none of her chemo "sisters" knew. So when I received notice from Bzzz Agent (it is a company that allows me to sample new products for me feedback) that they were opening a campaign for "Otrib" I had to sign up.

You can visit Otrib.com and it allows you to post your wishes and make a tribute page to someone you have lost. I thought it was a great idea especially having experienced this this past year. Check it out.

Race for the Cure 2010

Okay, Okay.. I am a bad blogger. It has been two weeks since the Race for the cure and I am just now getting a chance to write about it. I don't think I have to worry about bad charma... Already got the cancer (hahaha).

The Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Baltimore was two weeks earlier than last year. Thank goodness, if you all remember, last year there was friggin' snow on the ground for the race!! This year it was a little chilly but wonderful running weather... And that is what I did, I ran!!

I had been training since July (???) for this race. I have an app on my Ipod for Couch to 5K (a.k.a. C25K) and every other day (3 times a week) I would pop my earphones in turn on my playlist, and do whatever the very pleasant woman would tell me too.

"Welcome to Couch to 5K"

"Warm up now" (five minutes)

"Run now"

"Walk now"

"Run now"

"Half way" (This is where I would turn around and start my return)

"1 more minute" (This is where I am normally gasping for breath and friggin' relieved)

"Cool Down" (Normally, this is where I throw my arms in the air in triumph)

"Work out Complete" I am normally back at my front door.

It really is a great program, if you can stick to it. Week 4 is a bitch (fair warning). The first week has you running and walking intervals which are 60 seconds and 90 seconds respectively. Then they work you up to a complete run. I was up to week 8 (running 28 minutes without stopping) when the race came up (there are 9 weeks total). I am still working on week 9 (30 minutes of running without stopping).

The day of the race I was so excited!!! I opted out of the survivor parade this year (too early, and the "parade" is the length of a parking lot). But got my butt out there for the race. This year I was determined to run the 5K, I had two partners in crime on this journey....

Meg and Heather

We all met in the lobby of the hotel that we were staying at, and then walked to the race.

We got there as the race started.

Putting Megs bib on her back. (That is running lingo for her number (aren't' you so impressed with me?)

;-)

Team LJ this year had a group of walkers too! Bridget came with her husband and their two kids from New York to be with us. Also, my hubby and girls were walking as well.

We had all made a pact to run together in the beginning, but if we lost each other during the race, that that was okay, we would hook back up at the end. We lost Heather early on in the race. Meg stayed by my side for the entire race (I personally think that she could have gone faster and passed my butt, but she stayed with me, encouraging me through the entire race). I was hoping that the race would be flat, but no... There were hills that weren't steep so much as they were LONG. At one point Meg told me to put on the song that made me push, that made me want to go for it. As the song on my playlist started (The Fray's "You Found Me"), Meg started singing out loud something about "Licking you from your head to your toes" and "Chocolate make it melt" ???!!! (Later finding out the song was "What's Your Fantasy" by Ludacris). I decided I need to use her playlist (hahahha).

At the two mile marker I we walked for maybe a tenth of a mile and started back up running. Then walked one more time two-tenths before the 3 mile marker, then finished the race at 3miles to the finish!!

I had never run that far (in my adult years). The announcer pulled me over to tell him my name (as a survivor, we were announced as we came in) and I was told to go down the survivor line, which was basically a line of volunteers to high five all the way down. (note: couldn't they have done this at the beginning of the race?? I just wanted to be finished!! Now I have to run through a line of people too??? Didn't you all JUST see me run a 5K)

By the end, I was in tears, met up with Meg and we cried and hugged. Okay so emotions came over me. We waited for Heather and cheered for her as she passed as well!

This was us after the race.

Once we were finished and had gone through Race Village we had some lunch, went back to the hotel to visit with Bridget and her family. Here are some pics.

Then we headed out... The ride home was a quiet one....

In the end, Team LJ had 12 Team Members, and raised $2,210.00!! Thank you so much to all those that walked, run, supported, donated and/or registered!!! I wish I could put into words how much your love has meant to me!!!

Go Team LJ!!!!

Army of Women

We are dedicating ONE day to reach ONE million women to sign up for the Army of Women by declaring October 1, 2010 the official Army of Women Day. We beseech all bloggers to blog about the Army of Women and empower women to take the next step by signing up and taking part in breast cancer research studies. Together, we can move breast cancer beyond a cure and eradicate it once and for all.

http://www.armyofwomen.org/

I have signed up. You can sign up for breast cancer research studies even if you have never had breast cancer. Help us to find out why some of us get it, and why some of us don't.

October 1 kicks of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I will be sporting my pink everyday and honoring those have have survived, who are fighting and those we have lost.

My love to all the families struggling with this disease and who have struggled.

Help me make a difference!!!

Me at my first Race for the Cure

Year 2 for Team LJ!!!

Please join Team LJ (on our 2nd year) and
Susan G. Komen for the Cure
As we Race For a Cure on
Sunday October 03, 2010
Hunt Valley, Maryland
Let's get started!!!

Sign up!! Register online at http://www.komenmd.org/ under our team name today! Your friends, family members and neighbors are invited to be part of the "Team LJ" team too. Please ask them to go online and register and be sure they choose Team LJ under "team name".
Fundraise!! Tell your family, friends and neighbors about the Komen Maryland Race for the Cure and ask them to help by making a contribution to your personal fundraising page online. Or, they can write a check or money order to Komen Maryland. Strive to ask 10 friends for $10 to help us reach our team goal of $2,500.00 in the fight against breast cancer. Every dollar makes a difference.

Race/Walk! Have a great time at the Race with Team LJ and enjoy a day filled with hope, love, encouragement, entertainment, fun and a LOT of pink!! It will be fun for racers and walkers of all ages.

Feel Proud! After the walk, fell the pride and satisfaction that comes form knowing you were part of the largest world-wide effort to help find a cure for breast cancer.

Contact Team LJ today for more information!!

REMEMBER - Sunday, October 03, 2010

YOUR REGISTRATION FEE GET US TO THE START LINE. YOUR DONATIONS GET US TO THE CURE!

One Year Ago Today...

One year ago today, I didn't know how long I would have with my children. One year ago today, I was exhausted. One year ago today, my skin was burnt and bloody that I thought scarring was immanent. One year ago today, I had my last radiation treatment. It feels like it was just yesterday, but at the same time it also feels like years ago. It was a very hard ride last year and I just wanted to say thank you.

So many of you helped me through my fight (if you knew it or not), whether it be through love, support, comments, commiseration, humor, a smile, or just a plain reality check.

Today I am cancer free. Today I feel better than I have in at least 10 years. Today, I am a survivor, a warrior. But I could not have done it without the support of all of you. So from the bottom of my heart...

Thank you,

LJ

Who Would Have Thought??

In May back in 1999, I walked in the Relay For Life, the 24 hour cancer walk.



My walking time was sometime in the wee hours of the night (or the morning, which ever you prefer). I have the image etched in my brain of walking around the Lompoc High School track with my friend Tracie looking at the luminaries along the track. These luminaries were the only things lighting the track, all the lights had been turned off. On each luminary was the name of someone who lost their life to cancer or a survivor. I will never forget walking along that track trying to read each name... Bag after bag, "In Memory of....", "In Honor of...", "In Memory of..." and so on. As each bag lit my way, I wanted to read each name. Be it a morbid curiosity or the thought I couldn't believe the strength it must have taken every survivor, every person that lost their life to fight everyday. Maybe just reading their names, if only to myself, would honor those warriors. It was an emotional night for me and I didn't even know any of the names. That was the first and last Relay for Life I did, yet I remember that night as if it was yesterday. Funny how some memories are gone forever and some you never forget.

One of my baby mommas, Shannon, does the walk up in Massachusetts every year. She is doing it this weekend. She sent me a text last night....

That is the my luminary her children made for me....

Who would have thought huh? That someone would be walking the track in the wee hours of the morning, reading the names on the bags... And read my name. Thank you Shannon for thinking of me and thank you to Christian, Maddy and Nathaniel for helping your Mommy color it. It meant so much to me that you honor me with all those other fighters whose bags are lit to light your way as you walk. I love you all.

One year ago on June 4th, I had my last chemo treatment...


Wow...


This past year has just been a blur... From chemo to radiation, radiation to healing, heeling to a total hysterectomy, a total hysterectomy to healing....


Somewhere along the line, I got better. I got healthy.

I guess I am just at a loss for words. This is a journey I wish no other woman to go through. This is a club, I don't want anyone else to join. But every day more woman join the ranks... More mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, nieces, friends join the breast cancer club. But in this journey I found strength in my family, in my friends, in perfect strangers. From my absolutely loving husband to the woman I met at the PT office that took time to tell me where I could find a good wig... If I could light a luminary with everyone of your names, I would. Then I would walk on the lit up track in the wee hours of the night and say your name to honor you.

I truly love you all.

BoobieGate Update

April 11, 2010

I know... What a bad blogger I am! I don’t think that I have put in my post-op appointment with Dr. B. So… Here is it is.

I had been doing really good, healing really well. My work gave the option to work from home, so I started coding from home the day after I got back from the hospital. It was nice to keep my mind on something else, and to feel at least useful during my healing. I thought I was doing REALLY good, considering that I had no menopausal symptoms for the first week and a half. But then I guess that I had used up all my estrogen in reserve, because about a week and a half after surgery, I started to have hot flashes, emotional breakdowns, horrible vivid nightmares, and I mustn’t forget the insomnia. I stopped taking my naps during the day, just so I would be tired enough to go to sleep at night. The good news was that I had to come off my Tamoxofin for 5 days after the surgery, it can cause blood clots, and during the 5 days I was off it, my hives went away!! I didn’t realize it until I noticed that I had forgotten to take my Xyzal (anti-histamine) for about a week, and there were no more hives!!

Two weeks after my surgery, I went back to Dr. B office for my first post-op. I hadn’t heard anything about my test results yet, which I was HOPING meant that there was good news (no news is good news right?) So my mom and dad (who were still here) drove me down to Bethesda and my mom and I went back with Dr. B. Dad stayed up front in the waiting room. Dr. B checked me out inside and out, and said that I was “healing beautifully” I got to see the pictures of the surgery and the size of my cyst (warning, I am posting for you curious lookers, please avert your eyes for the squeamish).


She said that everything looked great, that everything was normal it was just a large mass with maroon-ish blood in it. Since they took the ovaries, tubes and uterus, they would not be going in to take out anything else. My mom at that point started crying…. Relief!
We left there soon after and had Chipotle!

Mom and Dad stayed through the weekend and left the next Monday, and I cannot thank them enough for helping me with the children, taking care of me, driving me around and of course feeding my Starbucks kick!!

I went back to work 4 weeks after surgery (April 7th) and went to dance the day after that. Yes, I was careful, but I am so over being sick!! I am tired of “not being able to do anything”, of having limitations. I wish I could have one day (just one) that I don’t remember I had cancer. I have to wear special “gear” to bed, so my breast doesn’t swell. I still have a rash on my left breast that will not go away; I have the scar that I have to massage so it doesn’t collect more fluid. I have to take a medication in the morning and one at night. Because of all these things, it is impossible for me to forget, or to just not remember for a single day that I had cancer. I feel sometimes that it is a heavy wind, whipping around me trying to blow me over and keep me down.

So yes I went to dance! Probably too early, but it is the only place that pointing my foot, making sure I am turned out, and making sure that I am not putting weight on my heel, squashes the cancer thoughts. It is the one place where I am Laurie Jo of old. The dance studio is the one place where I feel healthy and strong.

Okay, enough of that rant… I have decided to make an appointment with Dr. K (my original Oncologist). She is now in Washington DC, which means I have to take the Metro down to see her, but I am told it is a nice ride and I get to relax and read on the train (which I am excited about, I have a Harry Potter book to finish). I will see her on Wednesday and at that time we will discuss everything that has gone on with in the couple of months I haven’t seen her, and we will discuss what changes we are going to make with my med. I think she will take me off the Tamoxifen and give me a post menopausal drug, and I believe my hives are slowly making there way back, so I am pretty confident that I was/am allergic to the Tamoxifen. I might even get another anti-depressant to help with the hot flashes. I just want to sleep again!!